Thank you all for reading, and thank you to those of you that commented on my previous blog about my job. It is a hard decision, one that is leaving me feeling selfish if I post for the position or a wee bit resentful if I don't. I hate the last part of that, resentful is such a strong word, not really what I'm meaning, but I can't think of a better word.

Those of you who talked about daycare and such, we are really blessed because my father in law owns his own plumbing business and my mother in law works for him answering phones. This is all based at their house so my mil watches DD when I work. It's great because my girl gets to spend her time with family, but she really doesn't know how to play with other children. If I took the full time position, I would probably be putting her into a daycare. I'm not as concerned about the cost because we're not dependent on my income anyways. She needs the interaction with other children, and I'd love to see her get it now and not have issues with friends or sharing when she starts in Kindergarden. I know preschool will help with that also though.

I've done the sahm thing, which honestly, I did enjoy it. I didn't enjoy not being able to buy things that I wanted for DD or me occasionally without getting "approval" from DH. Not really approval, but he kind of handled all the finances and at the job he was in when we moved and bought this house, his income was less than now. Unfortunately, or fortunately however you want to look at it because it brought around some good changes, he lost his job. I went back to work because we weren't sure when he was going to find work, and I wanted to have some adult interaction and money again. Luckily, the company he interned with in college brought him on as a contractor and paid him double what he was making when he lost his job! So really, besides savings and spending money for me, my job is only to supply insurance for health, dental, vision, etc. I've decided that I really don't want to be a sahm again. Just not for me.

I do want to have at least one more child (soon) but we would need to get a different house or build since I don't think we can feasibly add on to our current house. I would also like to have more money saved up for my maternity leave and the surgery since it'd be a c-section birth, and since DH lost quite a bit not being with DD much when she was born (school and work) I'd love for him to be able to take a week or so of paternity leave. He has a hard time taking time off though since he doesn't get any compensation. So talking him into taking a week off would be much easier if we had a nice savings built up just for that event.

Either way, I know I'm going to have to make compromises. These are the times that I wish just a teeny tiny bit that DH and I had been more responsible when we were dating. I would never ever wish that DD wasn't born, but I wish she had been born when we were a bit older and secure. I'll continue to pray on it and talk with the manager and DH about ways to accomplish what I need. The position kind of just fell into my lap so maybe it'll work out the way I need it! There is a chance it'll be at 20 hours for awhile anyhow, which won't be near as big of an issue as full time will be!