I decided to go ahead and start increasing my contribution amount to my 401k after each paycheck. I want to see how much my checks are going to be impacted, hence the gradual increase. Right now I have it set to contribute 5% to my Roth IRA and 5% to a before tax account. I really don't understand all the investments, 401ks, etc., mumbo jumbo at all, but I'm planning on going to the library either tonight or tomorrow to see if I can't find some books to help me out. The financial advisor at the bank I work at has been helping me so far. Free financial help, lol, can't beat that!
PLEASE JUST CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS REGARDING BELOW TOPIC (meaning no bashing about thinking of "leaving" my daughter)
I'm torn at the moment between my career and my motherhood status. I enjoy my job tremendously, so much so that I'm planning on majoring in business finance and spending the rest of my working life in this field. I also love my daughter, more than life itself! But, I also enjoy money.
I have a chance to move to another branch, which is a larger and busier branch, with the manager that was originally at the branch I'm at now. He also hired me. I feel that this move, and having him as my manager and mentor, would be very beneficial to my career development. He has already stated that he wants to give me some added responsibilities as soon as I feel ready, which makes me feel really good. The move would also help my family save money on gas as my husband and I could commute, and the branch is near the campus I'm going to be attending this fall for school.
The only catch is that I would probably have to move from part time at 20 hours to full time-40 hours. I really have thought about going full time, but part of me (not sure if it's worry or sadness) is concerned about leaving DD. She'll be going to preschool in the fall if she is potty trained by then, but she still won't be in school everyday. Plus, while I'm only 5 minutes away from where she is at my mil's, I'd be at least 30 minutes away at the new branch.
I'm so torn about what I should do. On one hand, I want to jump at this opportunity because it will benefit me in the long run, yet at the same time, I feel so selfish leaving my baby girl! I was talking with my husband and he feels that I should make the move but stay at part time. My mom feels that I shouldn't make this type of move until DD is in school everyday.
So, if any of you women have had to grapple with a situation like this, what did you choose? What would you do if you were in my situation? I guess I'm just looking for advice from anyone who has been in this type of situation. Thank you in advance!
I need advice desperately!
April 28th, 2008 at 10:21 am
April 28th, 2008 at 10:34 am
If it was I and if I had a young daughter, I would not choose both school and work while trying to raise a young child to have a more balance between work and spending time with my daughter.
I have always dreamed to experience a child and want to try being a SAHM for the experience. However it looks like I will have keep working with the way things are looking. Many co-workers are mothers and they have to take a 30 minute lunch so they can leave at 4:30 to pick up their child from day care in time. I cannot imagine trying to find time from work and school and pick-up times for child care with all that time consuming driving. I be stressed out and would not enjoy living like that daily.
It would be a pain to start over the progress in your career but you do not have an opportunity to start over on a child’s life.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:51 am
As for your retirement plan, as a general rule, I recommend to contribute your 401k first to your employer's match (assuming there is one), put the rest in Roth IRA for flexibility, and if you have anything else to spare, to go back and max the 401k to the IRS limit.
But all that depends on the specifics as well. This would be a good question to ask in the forums, but I would also recommend finding out the details of your plans. Who are you with for your 401k and IRA, what funds do they have, and what are you currently invested in.
Good luck!
April 28th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
This is a decision that only you and your husband can make and there is no right or wrong only a lot of gray. I have had offers to make 350k a year in New York. My wife didn’t want to move. So I didn’t take the job. My point is that it would have been good for my career and our finances but not necessarily good for the family.
My wife is an OT and could make $50/hour. That’s over 100k per year. But we decided that the best path was for her to stay home with the kids and work just enough to keep her skills current (and peace of mind).
My point is that you can’t choose what is best for you. That’s almost irrelevant. You must choose what is best for the family as a whole long term.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Can your husband spend more hours w/your daughter?
April 28th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
My observations:
The working moms feel guilty about not being with their kids enough ~ The stay at home moms feel less worth by not earning income/being compensated for their worth.
It is an age old dilemma.
I work part time which is fairly ideal. But only after about 12 years full time work before I had kids (and earning my state license in my field as well as a Master's Degree).
Just my 2c. You are at a great point, be proud of yourself.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
I found myself not seeing my kids, as I was at school or the library until past their bedtime almost 4-6 nights a week. It took a huge toll on me both mentally and physically (I also have MS, so that was also a factor). My children and spouse also paid for it as well.
What did work for me was to work part time and take part time classes during the day with them in the childcare center on campus the days I was at school, and at my moms on my work days. That left my evenings free to be with them. It took me longer with school (I'm still not all the way done), but my kids will never be little again, but a college will always be there, and a job will always be there.
Some of this, you just don't realize till you get to be my age and you look back and wonder where the time went to.
April 28th, 2008 at 01:12 pm
I can only tell you about my experience. I've been working full time since my DD was 4 months old. So, yes, somebody else pretty much raised her while I was working. I felt comfortable doing so because the nursery school she went to from age 1 to 5 was wonderful. All the teachers there graduated with child development degree and were trustworthy. They were professional when it comes to dealing with kids. My DD was (and still is) very friendly kids, loved being with her friends. So, she was happier to go to day care than staying home.
But, it was for us, and I know everyone has different life.
Anyway, here's a quote I read before. "You can have everything, but not at the same time." I suggest you make a list of "priority" and go with it. Only you know the answer for yourself. Good luck.